Politics and Baseball will have to Wait

Because, at the risk of sending the whole thing spinning into a spiral of hellish, hubris-biting hexation, Barcelona are currently sending Rangers a strong message about who is who in Europe. I don't necessarily agree with Leo Messi that Rangers played anti-football in their first match in the Champions League, because if I was Rangers and I was welcoming the Catalan attack machine into my home, I would probably forget all about offense and hunker down in pursuit of a 0-0 tie myself. Because the strike force of Messi, Thierry Henry and Ronaldinho is as dangerous a weapon as has ever been unleashed in the world of club football (I would even say it is better than the Argentinian trio of Messi, Carlos Tevez and Hernan Crespo but maybe not quite on par with the Brazilian threesome of Ronaldinho, Robinho and Kaka) and the only reasonable thing for a B-list, sectarian, blood-thirsty, drunken Scottish clusterfuck club like Rangers to do is dig into the trenches, put everybody but Cousin in the box and hack away at the knees of the glorious invading forces. Sure, they did what they had to do.

But, when they come to the Nou Camp, they can forget all about defending themselves because it is impossible. Also-rans like Rangers have no choice but to stand gawking at the majesty of the Barcelona kingdom and just enjoy the sights and sounds of the thing and hope that Stuttgart beats Lyon. (They probably won't. They're down 3-1 right now.) So, Henry sent a clear message in the 6th minute and that message is, "Fool me once, blah blah blah, fuck you Rangers." That Messi, the lightning fast 20-year-old, with his anti-anti-football would slot one in right before the half is just about perfect, in terms of demonstrating that while Rangers may have won the battle at Ibrox, they never had any chance of winning the war and they never will.

I would say Barca fans are kind of spoiled, since Henry and Ronaldinho have both been the target of some extremely unjust speculation and hearsay this year, but we deserve to be because rooting for Barcelona is rooting for everything good in the world. Someone has to stand up to the fascist influence of Real Madrid, and counteract the juggernauts of the world with some beautiful 40 yard passes and a shirt that is sponsored by UNICEF instead of a phone company or somebody. Not that Barca don't have $$$, but you have to, and they spend it on players who mean something revolutionary, instead of players who make the cover of Four Four Two. The truly depressing thing is when Barca-style players sign with Madrid, because even good and radical freedom fighters sometimes sell out for the safety and comfort of Big Business. Just look at Jerry Rubin. Or Didier Drogba. This summer, when all the talk was of the golden-boy Kaka moving to Madrid, it couldn't have happened for the same reason the Penguin can't beat Batman, except for dramatic effect. Kaka may be playing for the Mafia at AC Milan, but that's a long way from playing for Franco and his Fascists in Madrid in terms of amorality.

Anyway, loving Barcelona is the same as loving beauty and truth (all ye need to know) and so when some crossbow-firing, vitriolic hate machine like Rangers engages in savagery to keep the good things of the world from victory, we know that's Not Right. And, sometimes the cynics among us believe that things that are Not Right happen all the time and that's just the way of things, but other times, Barcelona gets their revenge by popping in 2 against the supposedly impenetrable Rangers defense before the half, and then maybe there's reason for hope.

I don't necessarily mean that Barcelona winning today means we're entering a golden age of an Obama/Paul ticket winning the white house, or an eradication of sectarianism worldwide, but it's a start. Of course, the game's not over, and the Champions League is a long and grueling fight that still has oligarchs and fascists and mafiosos and gangsters and thieves alive and well, so, like El Pipila says, Aún hay otras Alhóndigas por incendiar. Look it up.